Judgmental Mom

I was reading a book about motherhood and the author started talking about "judgy moms". She said, "You know the kind, the ones that give you an evil look as you hand your toddler their third oreo". As I read this, I thought "I'd judge someone for giving their child 3 oreos!!" I always knew I was a bit judgmental, but this is when I realized that I am VERY judgmental, and I thought back to all the things I think are "wrong" and judge others for doing.

When Aidan was first born, I decided that I wasn't going to use a pacifier because I didn't want it to become a habit. I judged those that used one. When his crying got to me, I decided we could use one, but only until 3 months because, according to many "expert" opinions, 3 months is the magic age where pacifier use becomes a problem. I judged those that used a pacifier past 3 months. Well, after a few nights of crying, I shoved that soother in his mouth and he instantly closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Now I'm not sure what I'll do and I don't judge anyone using a pacifier for their baby.

I've read in a million books that TV can interfere with infant's brain development so I would get annoyed with Mike (or anyone) when they would face Aidan towards the TV to get him to stop crying. When people would sit and watch TV with their infants, I would judge them.

There are a lot of things that I don't judge - formula vs breastfeeding (although before I had Aidan, I thought everyone could breastfeed and those that didn't were just lazy), family bed vs own crib, stay at home vs working mom, but there are way more things that I think I know what's "best". This is hard for me to admit, but I really want to work on it so I thought I'd share just in case there are other moms who struggle with this.

The ironic thing is, I get frustrated with other moms who judge me for putting my son on a schedule yet I judge them for things.

I know if I continue this way, I'll be super overprotective and Aidan will grow up judging others. My hope is that he learns from his father's example and not mine in this area. I also hope that I can stop judging others so harshly and realize that there's not always a "right" and "wrong" when it comes to parenting. That's why so many experts have conflicting opinions!

If you read this, I hope you don't judge me for judging. Being a mom is hard enough without having others look down on what you're doing, as I need to remind myself more often.