So....baby weight. Or I-pigged-out-during-my-pregnancy weight. Whatever you want to call it, it sucks.
For the first few months of my pregnancy, I still ate fairly healthy and hardly gained any weight. Obviously, the baby wasn't growing that much either so I shouldn't have gained any weight. Because my weight gain was slow, I decided I should help it along by eating ice cream every day for about a month. That month I gained 10 lbs. Okay, still not that big of a deal, I could get it under control still.
As I got bigger and bigger, I was less able to move around and ended up pretty much sitting around. It didn't help that is was summer vacation so I was barely even working (waitressing 1-2 days a week). I remember when I first got pregnant and was worried about gaining weight, people said not to worry. Some moms use pregnancy as an excuse to eat and eat so as long as I didn't do that I would be fine. "Oh, I won't do that", I thought.
Little did I know that a love affair with food and the excuse of being pregnant is a deadly combination. Aidan was born in October and I remember going to Superstore before he was born and buying a 100 pack of mini chocolate bars that were out for Halloween and eating the whole box myself (with some help from Mike...) and going back for another 100 count box, which also disappeared before Aidan's birth. In the end, I had gained about 40lbs. I wasn't too worried, though. I was planning to breastfeed, which I'd been told helps the weight "just melt right off" (lies, lies).
A week or two after Aidan had been born, I'd lost about 20 lbs of the 40lbs I'd gained. This still put me up 20 lbs but I wasn't worried. I was breastfeeding! The weight would just disappear! One problem - I'd heard that you are supposed to eat more when you're breastfeeding and, since I love food sooooo much, I didn't mind making sure my portions were extra large or that I had tons of snacks. I stopped eating junk (chocolate, ice cream, etc) except for a treat now and then, but I definitely still ate A LOT. I didn't lose one more pound. I was still 20 lbs overweight when Aidan was 3 1/2 months. I worked out now and then, went for walks, but realistically I needed to cut back on what I was eating. This photo was taken a few weeks after Aidan was born, even though I still look 5 months prego.
Fate intervened. I got a really bad stomach flu about a week ago and everything that was in me left one way or another. I lost 10 lbs in one day. I have since gained back about 5lbs but...overall weight loss, 5 more lbs! This jump start has really helped. Because I couldn't eat for a few days, my stomach doesn't hold those large portions I had previously been cramming down my throat. I'm not so worried about my breast milk because I'm pretty sure I don't need to eat like a pig to make enough milk. I now allow myself to get hungry. I still have a way to go. My body may never be the same (especially my boobs, but that's another story) but I'm not as worried about the weight because I know it will come off eventually if I actually put in some effort.
As a side note, when I was really sick I wasn't producing as much milk and now I have to give Aidan a bottle of formula every night. At first I was nursing him first and then giving him the bottle to make sure he got enough, but that ended quickly when his bedtime feed went from 30 minutes to up to 90 minutes. I have mixed feelings about this - at least I still get to nurse him in the day. I never knew that nursing would become such a special thing for me, but it has. The plus side about the bottle - Mike (or anyone) can be the one to feed him so I can go out at night and he eats the bottle soooo much faster. He can down 8-10oz in about 10 minutes. The downside - the lactation nazis has drilled into my head the breast is best and formula is evil so sometimes I feel a little guilty. I didn't mind giving him a bottle now and then so I could have a few drinks or go out for an evening, but I always pumped to keep my supply up and felt good knowing that I could always feed Aidan myself. Now I don't think I have enough milk anymore, so I'm dependent on a bottle and formula. But is that a big deal, really? So far it hasn't been, but why is formula so expensive?? I can't imagine if all of Aidan's meals were formula, I'd go broke just feeding him.
One last thing - some new moms look so amazing, I wonder how they did it. At my "Mommy and Me" class, I mentioned that I was surprised how long it was taking to lose the baby weight. Was anyone else struggling with this? I was met with silence. What the heck?!?! Am I the only one still in my maternity clothes?!? Apparently. I finally broke down and bought some bigger clothes, and I feel 10x better about myself going in public, but I think I'll feel 100x better when I finally shed this last 15 lbs. I'd be happy with 10 to be honest!
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